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I am having some hassles at the moment.
There have been a few clashes with Kt ... she seems to not think I am a very good mum and is very verbal about it. I think she is saying it to try and get a reaction more than anything but it is starting to bother me.
I am feeling quite unapreciated and grumpy and generally unimpressed.
This month is horrible as far as uni's roster is concerned because another shift is on holidays and that means that he is not around much ... no five day breaks until next month.
I think the cloud will lift in December ... but I am going to have to start letting some things go so hopefully I will not be so grumpy or so "unavailable" to KT.
I know I haven't been very playful of late ... she thinks I am a very poor playmate and I understand that her ideas of a good mum include playing all the time, not being bossy (LOL!) making cakes or cookies EVERY DAY and feeding her only things she likes.
While I recognize this as unrealistic ... i think she does have a point in some ways.
I don't play with her for very long or with anywhere near the same enthusiasm as uni or a very energetic and fit aunty (you know who you are!).
I do think I do plenty of other things with her and I do spend time with her reading, doing homework, walking the dog, baking although definitely not EVERY DAY, taking her to the library etc but some of the fun things we used to do don't happen as much (mostly because she is at school).
I am going to try and do a bit more of this stuff with her. I figure if I keep her active and busy she won't have time to complain or argue!!!
Keeping my fingers crossed about this one.
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Ahhhh, can't help but throw my two cents in the pot.
ReplyDeleteI seem to remember being around KT's age and always feeling like NOBODY wanted to play with me and declaring the whole "nobody loves me" in a very dramatic way because I wasn't centre of the universe 24/7. Little ones of this age just don't have perspective and certainly can't take into account the fact that there are other activities which need to take place outside of playtime such as washing, cleaning, ironing, showering etc. They also don't understand that adult peoples get tired...especially when they start growing baby brother/sister's inside their bellies!
What I would like to say (and I think I've said this before) is how much I admire the volumes of time and energy that you do already devote to your beautiful daughter. So much so that I wonder if I will ever find the patience or energy to do the same with my own. My goodness, your house is like a living playschool! It is the small child's utopia! :-D What I mean is that there is evidence of the time you spend together all over the place in toys, buildings, sculptures, models, paintings, photos etc.
KT is incredibly intelligent. She really is and she wouldn't be that way if you'd not invested the time and energy that you have. In my job, I get to see people's lives very intimately. Many parents don't achieve the half of what you have. So don't let it drive you under. You're an awesome Mum and one day I hope to be able to do it like you do. :-)
BTW, glad to hear the pants were suitable!
Thanks! I needed that! Hopefully I can find the energy and enthusiasm to get the next one off to a good start too!!!
ReplyDeleteAll very well said and expertly
ReplyDeletefrom a horse's mouth with vivid memories!
There will be naturally more outbursts
as time goes by not so much due to lack of activities and play but as an expression of pressures inside her as she feels the world shifting around her in ways unknown to her.
Create together a daily list of all the ''together activities'' for each day,
so that you are both aware of how much has been done together and include those activities
of KT helping You, to bring them to focus and be noticed, thus gradually shifting her position from the all play and all me
to being part of the 'grown up' world,
rather than left out unless there is play.
Hold your self steady, you are doing fine
and her responses are normal under the new circumstances developing.
Adjustments will follow naturally with time
and hopefully you will All live Happily ever after! ...lol!
Nanna J